Lectio Divina

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.
Luke 24

Reflection

We want resurrection
to feel like victory.

Clear.
Decisive.
Undeniable.

But the first ones
to see the risen Christ
did not feel victorious.

They arrive.
Spices in hand.
Prepared for a burial.

What they find
is not loud
it’s not obvious.

It’s an empty space.

Absence.

Stone removed.
His body gone.

The problem with an empty tomb
is that it cannot be managed.

It is a disruption of frameworks.
It questions the powers.
It resists explanation.

Resurrection does not give answers,
it removes what we thought was certain.

Everything we knew
now held
with open hands.

And if I can get still enough,
the empty tomb
becomes invitation.

Come and see.

Christ emptied himself.
Now his tomb lies empty.

Come and see.
The way of Christ.
The way of Kingdom.
The way of Spirit.

In the emptying of self
the possibility
of resurrection
begins.

Blessing

Dear Friend

A very Happy Easter to you and yours!

On this holy morning,
may you not rush
past the empty spaces.

May you have the courage to stand
where something has been lost,
and not yet explained.

May the absence you carry
become
in time
an opening.

Like a name spoken softly in the garden,
may you discover that life
has already begun
where you thought nothing remained.

In the Name of Jesus, the Christ
Amen

Reflection

Eve and Adam reached for the fruit on the tree.

Sin is the human creature seeking control.
Refusing limitation.
Striving to be the divine.
In lieu of giving thanks for our humanity.

Reaching for power and control, we harm one another.
Corporations dehumanize their hires.
Nations build and deploy weapons of violence.

The antidote to sin, is not merely forgiveness.
It is awareness of human limitation.

That is why these forty days of returning to God
begin with remembrance.

You are dust.
To dust you will return.

We will all someday, die.

My parents visited me this week.
All my life, I have seen them age.
And they have seen me live now forty years.

We reflected on our lives.
The changes, the moves,
the will power, the convictions.

And still yet,
our self-deceptions.

We all think
we are in control
and so we reach.

But brother,
so little actually is.

Repentance is not only remorse over wrongdoing,
it is a surrender of what is not ours to have,
and an embrace of what is.

Come let us return to the LORD.

Lectio Divina

Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the East.
Genesis 2

You have made us for yourself, O LORD.
And our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.
Augustine

Prayer

LORD

What I have reached for
I give back to you.

For what I presently have
I give thanks.

Amen

Blessing

Dear Friend

May you catch yourself reaching for control.
May you instead, raise your hands in worship for what already is.

May you not see each moment as something to manipulate,
but a mystery to contemplate.

Go in peace.
Ponder the gift of every breath.

In the Name of the One
Who Breathed Life Into Dust

Amen

Lectio Divina

Search me, O God,
and know my anxious heart.
Lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139

Where your treasure is
there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6

Reflection

We were taught to fear the breaking of rules.

Religion was loud around behavior.

Guilt, burden, comparison,
and a performative faith were its outcomes.

But sin is not mere transgression.
It is the bending of love.

The heart turns inward.
Imperceptible. Arranging the world
so it feels secure, admired, needed.

Sin is not always a rebellion.
It’s often self-protection.

We don’t wake up wanting to harm others.
We wake up wanting to matter.

Somewhere in that wanting,
the center shifts.

Confession is not condemnation.
It is honesty, awareness of that bend.

Grace is the gentle, patient straightening.

Prayer

God who sees without flinching,

I confess the quiet bend
the subtle rearranging

how I place self at center
how I seek to be necessary
how I measure worth in what can be counted by men.

LORD

What fear has taught me to clench,
help me to loosen.

I am returning to you.

Blessing

Dear Friend

May you begin the lenten journey
with a confession of sin that
doesn’t seek religious approval,
but congruence.

May you do the slow and faithful work
of searching the heart
for its self deceptions
and underlying fears.

May your confession lead you
to a God who not only forgives
but creates beauty
from what was once bent.

Notice the tension
in your body, mind, and soul.

Allow God’s grace upon grace
to meet you there.

In the Name of the One
who makes all things new.

Amen

My present ministry and embodiment of the Christian life was born of a simple question:

How do I become a healthy pastor?

Have you ever met a clergyperson who is overworked, overstressed, and overeating, overfunctioning while struggling with their marriage and their finances? A pastor whose ministry is informed moreso by anxiety, ambition, or anger, as opposed to a sustained quiet joyful union with God?

Recent Barna studies will show you most likely have.

Allow me to testify.

Not only did I fit the unexaggerated characterization above, most of my clergy colleagues did as well.

So I sought counsel.

I met with a mentor of mine — one of these published author types in the latter years of life. We had a Conference-paid coaching session coming up.

After an hour-long discourse on vision casting, managing millennial staff and volunteers, and crafting a narrative sermon arc, I got to the real question burning in my soul.

“Dave, I think I can do all this. Please send the invoice to our administrator. But, I have a much more urgent question now: how do I become a pastor who is healthy… and you know… happy?”

He smiled.

Took another sip of coffee.

Looked slowly into my soul, and said with a disarming simplicity,

“Mike. That’s easy. You already know this. To be happy, you sleep 8 hours a day, exercise, eat well, pray, and spend quality time with the people you love.”

Well, damn.

The present system by which I was serving the church was the very thing keeping me from my family, my God, and my own well being.

Also, this was the early 2020s.
And I wasn’t keeping up with inflation.

So I set out to solve for three things:

Financial Health.
Mental Health.
Dignity.

I began to prayerfully and imaginatively ask questions around these themes:

Financial Health. What systems of revenue generation will allow me to not only provide for my family, but allow my preaching and teaching to be detached from a co-dependent relationship with bureaucratic hierarchical systems that subsequently affect my family’s future well-being as well as the integrity of my call? Was tentmaking an essential part of Paul’s courage and unentangled devotion to building up the church?

Mental Health. What weekly rhythms of life and ministry will allow me to sleep and eat well, while being fully present with my daughters and my spouse? How might prayer be both a joyful ongoing communion with Spirit, and a designated time to smile and enjoy God each day? Maybe to be still and know God is as serious a scriptural imperative as the call to make disciples.

Dignity. And finally, what lifestyle will witness to my own soul that my faith and my actual life are congruent? Do I really believe in the work I am currently doing in the name of God? Do I really truly believe holding 60-minute Sunday morning worship services and seasonal midweek small groups over the next 30 years of my life will result in the cultivation of joyful enemy-loving Christians who are differentiated from the cultural logics of a bipartisan America primarily focused on geopolitical victories and capital accumulation in my given mission field of Middle to Upper Class Suburbanites?

These were dark questions. They demanded unearthing a thousand assumptions.

To answer them beyond theory and armchair theology would require significant, painful, costly changes.

But (and with apologies to the anti-melodramtic readership of this substack) my marriage and my soul were at stake.

I mean. I probably would’ve made it out with my marriage intact, and I would’ve likely appreciated a 2049 Annual Conference with an edited-down 30-second video summarizing my ministry with a humorous anecdote or two, but I knew — ineffable regret and stress-related health issues would’ve been buried deep inside my bones long before any tax-advantaged clergy pension plan would annuitize.

So I stayed with the questions. And I processed for months with my wife.

Slowly, I began to imagine new ways of being a pastor.

Not in a prescriptive manner for others, but for my own soul, for my own family, for our own sense of faithfulness to God.

Might this holy vocation, allegedly born outside man-made systems, be lived out in ways that truly nourish souls including my own?

Thus emerged my present co-vocational life. And Oikon Studios.

Oikon Studios is a living digital resource for spiritual formation. Each week, we offer a poetic liturgy, reflection, and song.

Wesleyan, contemplative, and rooted in a modified take on James Fowler’s faith development theory, Oikon is an on-ramp for seekers of God’s Presence. Given the nature of its founder, it lends itself to those who are unpacking past experiences in the church.

Some of our readers go through these liturgies with loved ones or with a group of friends. Others read them over breakfast, in line at a grocery store, or in bed. Some will share them as devotionals for church small groups. As with other Phygital Fellows who have shared, the best ministry often takes place in direct messages to the inbox.

Of course, as often is the case with fresh expressions of God’s Kingdom, this work is emerging. Retreats, albums, visual liturgies, and contemplative prayer guides are ahead, but the most important thing for me is this:

This ministry is not born of anxiety. It is not dependent on donors. My family’s future is detached from its perceived success.

I’ve always maintained that the measure of a pastor’s success is not worship attendance but the happiness index of their spouse.

Of course, success ultimately is hearing the Master say well done, but when the persons who know you in secret are proud of the work you are doing, and rejoice in the way you live, that is about as close a measure of integrity as you can get.

For me, leaning into a digital platform for ministry was the pathway towards my own sense of congruence as a pastor, father, and husband.

I am by no means a champion of digital ministry or innovation. But I do believe Jesus meant what he said – that his yoke is easy, and his burden is light. So perhaps the better question isn’t How do I become a healthy pastor? But Whose yoke am I carrying today?

In a world shaped by algorithms and AI, faithful presence will take many forms – online and off. For me, leaning into digital liturgies and co-vocational life brought a new kind of wholeness. Not productivity. Not prestige. Congruence.

I wonder what congruence might look like for you. Ask the darkest of questions buried in your soul. Let them disturb and delight you. May your life and ministry, in whatever shape they take, reflect the quiet joy of walking with God.

My daughter turned 5 this weekend.

Parenting is this perpetual, simultaneous dance between grief and pride.

I am so proud of who Haven is becoming. She is strong (willed). She is courageous. She is kind. She is finding her own voice and space as the youngest member of our tribe.

And yet, I mourn. I will never again share a nighttime routine with a four-year-old. 😭

In the hazy days of her early life, Haven would rest her head on my shoulder as I held her before bed. I would sing Jesus Loves Me, and even before she could speak, she would hum along with me.

Now, she has her own reflections on God and the human experience. Her unrehearsed theological musings are innocent, wide eyed, curious, and pure. She says to me the other night:

I’m glad God made grapes.
Because I love grapes.
And grapes are good for you.

Yes.
Little one.

This is the essential ingredient to a life of existential joy,
The prelapsarian anthropology all of us are trying to recover:

God is good.
God’s creation is good.
God’s goodness is all around us.

To participate in salvation is to recover that goodness in a world of disenchanted eyes, uncovering God’s design within the ordinariness of our humanity.

To be a saint is to have eyes to see…

Christ comes not to give us a way out,
but to show us — God is near.

A Prompt for Communion

What simple reality
in your present moment
is a gift from God?

Give thanks in silence,
with a smile.

Selah

Blessing

May you develop an intuition, extracted from the boring stereotypical cynicism and elitism that plagues our dull uninspiring eyes. May your instinctual way of seeing be immersed in the wonder of creation and the hope of a salvation that is unfolding here and now. And also, dear friend — May you enjoy produce as a child does, giving praise for flavor and nutrition, packaged in a bite sized, colorful oval of delight. Go in peace with thanksgiving.

In the Name of God
Giver of All Good Things

Amen.

Welcome 2025

With a new year comes ambitions of our ideal self.

Six pack abs and a multi six figure income. You got this, bro.

Year long Bible Reading Plans and intentions to attend church services more than twice a year may also make their way to the list…

Whatever and however you intend to spend the year, Godspeed to you dear friend.

As for me,
I have found this practice
front of mind in recent years,
including this 2025:

The all powerful F Word…

Forgiveness.

Before I quote Jesus’ mathematical hyperbole or his own hyperbolic life of forgiving the very people crucifying him on a Friday afternoon, may I speak without hyperbole or ideal:

Forgiveness is a complex, messy, long and winding road.

Forgiving Quickly is Harmful

To forgive quickly in the name of values and ethics can be harmful to your deep human need to be seen, heard, and honored. Shortcutting the difficult spiritual work of forgiveness can downplay the wounds your soul has endured, and create a false sense of the Christian life as one of endurance without healing.

Remember - Jesus was a man of sorrows. He wept and cried aloud to God in anguished prayer.

The Son of God’s act of forgiveness was a human act of courage. He was no spiritual robot programmed to behave without feeling or error.

Our attempts at forgiveness will be more like a turbulent flight. We will have romanticized notions of Jesus leading us to peaceful streams of unencumbered mercy, right beside fantasies of enacting vengeance on those who have violated our boundaries. Fortunately the Bible includes both (more on this later.)

Forgiveness is Liberation

At the same time, forgiveness may be the most liberating spiritual act we do as Christians.

You’ve heard the saying:

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison while wishing the other person would die.

To extend forgiveness is not only to engage in a Christ-like endeavor, it is to experience the freedom of becoming one with Christ in heart and deed. You no longer carry the unbearable weight of recounting the injustice done against you. And your faith becomes congruent with your soul. By the way — I have found congruence in life and faith to be the best way for a sound night’s sleep.

Forgiveness frees you to acknowledge the inconsistencies of people, while still yet celebrating the glory of God within a broken world. It names that your spiritual path is not one of avoiding pain, but going through it with the nearness and power of Christ.

Below is my system of forgiveness without self-harm.

But this seems now like an appropriate time for those aforementioned hyperboles:

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

Mark 11:25
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Romans 12:17-19
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Matthew 5:46-48
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Forgiveness without Self Harm

001 Honor Your Own Pain Before God

Forgiveness is not denial. There is no glory in pretending that you have not been hurt. Forgiveness begins with acknowledging that someone has violated your boundaries. Even the Risen Christ showed his scars to those he called to follow him.

The problem for most of us is where and how do we express our pain?

For Christians, there is a place for us to curse — prayer.

Eugene Peterson said it like this:

We need to find a way to curse, without cursing.

When you read through the Psalms you will find really violent language that the people of God have sung to God against their enemies. It is shocking. Take Psalm 137 as one such example — Blessed shall he be who repays you for what you have done to us! Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!

I remember reading that in a peaceful prayer room once and being like, um, what faith am I a part of again?

These imprecatory Psalms create space for two very important things in the journey of forgiveness:

1. It offers a release valve to the pain within you, as you express the full extent of your experience.

2. It releases vengeance to Someone else.

You announce: vengeance is not my responsibility.

002 Seek the Embrace of God

On a few occasions in my life, I have unloaded my baggage onto a therapist or my spouse or a dear friend.

When my anger is met with compassionate non-judgmental eyes, there is a gentle balm that is applied to my soul as I remember these rudimentary truths:

• God sees you.

• You are loved.

When forgiveness is approached as an ethical ideal, it becomes another performative perfectionist attempt at self-righteousness.

Forgiveness that is filled with Christ, must begin with an experience of Christ’s love.

So be sure to take pause to be still and know the unmerited love of Christ.

It will heal and empower you.

003 Acknowledge the Systems that Formed the Ones Who Harmed You

This was life changing for me.

We are all products of our environment and subcultures. Those who have wronged us *deep breath* are operating from a set of logics and anxieties embedded in the world they encompass.

For example. Here is a phrase that has helped my journey towards forgiving spiritual authorities in my life:

That pastor was (and is) the victim of a system and theology that does not allow for failure.

When we experience pain from spiritual leaders, it is very common that they are operating from a fear of failure. Why do they have such fear? What conditions are they unknowingly operating within that create such insecure frameworks that play out in dishonoring the humanity of others?

To be clear, acknowledging systems is not the same as justifying behaviors.

But it helps in this one way:

It depersonalizes the action.

And that — at least for me — allows for a kind of compassion.

004 Speak Forgiveness and Blessing Aloud

From this space of centering myself in Christ’ love, and prayerfully analyzing the systems and cultures (or powers and principalities if you prefer Pauline spiritual warfare language)… I begin to speak aloud forgiveness and blessing in the place of prayer.

Father, I forgive ____ for ____.
Father, I bless ____.
Father, I release my anger.

There is power in aligning your thought, spirit, will, and word.

We speak things into existence, including the well being of our soul when we speak aloud blessing and forgiveness towards those whom we may call our Enemies.

005 Create Healthy Boundaries

Finally. I create healthier boundaries in places that were violated.

To forgive and love someone does not mean you are eager to be drinking buddies who talk about professional athletic clubs and their monetary endeavors.

It usually means you are understanding how to better guard your heart.

Whether that means reducing your time or number of accounts of social media, or it means being highly intentional about which houses of worship you participate in, or investing time for the purpose of deepening new friendships, or finding a therapist, or guarding your time… the question to ask is one of self-responsibility:

How can I create a way of life that protects my boundaries?

I like the Apostle Paul’s words here:

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

006 Seek Out a Life of Joy

Methodists ask this well-meaning yet increasingly ambivalent question:

How is it with your soul?

Try this out. 90% of the time people will talk about their job or their need to read the Bible more. I have found a different question to be helpful in my own reflection:

Where am I finding joy?
Where will I find joy, today?

Two things can exist at once. Pain and joy.

If not, Scripture would not call us to rejoice always.

Your life is full of wonder and gift. When we are dealing with unforgiveness, our eyes towards joy become blinded.

May the eyes of your joy be opened.

Blessing

Dear Friend

Here’s to 2025 being a year where your soul is liberated from the bondage of unforgiveness.

May the Spirit of our LORD and Friend Jesus the Christ empower you with the courage to undergo the long and slow and turbulent journey of Christ-like forgiveness.

May this year be a year of joy.

In the Name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit

May it Be So

When it comes to vocation,
hearing the voice of God isn’t the hard part.
It’s the over enmeshment of identity with work.

When it comes to vocation,
hearing God call us to become a pastor,
missionary, nurse, or business person is easy.
It’s the emptying of self and serving others
within the context of our work
that is the hard part.

When it comes to vocation,
seeking favor with God and with man isn’t the hard part.
It’s learning to name the evaluative scales and awards
that are driven by logics of marketplace
as opposed to the Kingdom of God
that remains difficult.

I once asked my mentor, “How do I become a happy pastor?”

After an hour’s worth of discussing discipleship theories and systems, I finally asked the real question in my soul. Of course I did so semi-facetiously compensating for how honest my inquiry actually was.

His response will never leave my body.

You already know the answer to that, Mike.
To be happy, you sleep 8 hours a day,
exercise regularly, and eat well.

Well, damn.

What a litmus test:

Does your current lifestyle of work and recreation allow for adequate sleep, exercise, and home cooked meals?

Listen to your body for a second. Is it asking you to go for a run? 😅

Is it asking you to finally eat some food God intended us to eat at creation?

Your spiritual, physical, mental (and probably financial) well being is answered in tending to the basic needs of sleep, food, and exercise.

There is this twisted nobility in America with the phrase, “I’m so busy.” It is our primary excuse for displacing responsibility. Particularly for those who are in the helping professions (clergy, therapist, nurse, etc.), we think being busy must mean we are really serving God and others.

Eugene Peterson says busy pastors are worse than adulterous pastors. When you are a busy pastor, then surely, you are not a pastor who prays deeply, you are not a pastor immersed in the Scriptures, and you are not a pastor who listens attentively to the people in your care.

We’ve all met aloof pastors more concerned about the next task than the person (or the Holy Spirit) in front of them. Aloofness suggests your mind is over occupied. But it’s subtle. The more explicit manifestations of aloofness are unhealthy vices and an inability to enjoy the gifts of God.

Here is a semi-provocative mantra I live by:
God did not call you to work because God needs you.
God has chosen this work to make you holy.   

The refrain from Ecclesiastes is less intense, and much more profound:

There is nothing better than to eat, drink, and find satisfaction in one’s toil.

Pause and sit with those words again.

There is nothing better than to eat, drink, and find satisfaction in one’s toil.

The best things in life are its most basic.

And the Scripture invite you to embrace them. This too is a life lived in God.

Whenever I marinate short ribs, chop up some lettuce, and steam rice to serve it to friends and family with a side of kimchi, there is both contentment and dignity. Whenever my wife and I get childcare and sit down together at a wine bar for charcuterie and sauvignon blanc, I know we are both living out our vocation in God.

May you work as if working for the LORD.
May you eat delicious and healthy food with thanksgiving.
May you sleep well as an act of worship and rebellion against the world.
May you detach your identity from W2 employment.

In the name of Christ
whose yoke and burden
are easy and light

Amen

This popped up on my TikTok feed the other day:

@k.explorerHow To Speak Korean Like a Native

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When I first saw this, I instantly held even greater compassion and gratitude than I already had for parishioners of cross cultural appointments who said to me with sincerity and enthusiasm, “Thank you for your sermon. And your English is so good.” 😎

I was like, “Your English is also of equal proficiency, Mr. Williams!” 🤭

In seriousness, this video had my head spinning…

The young woman’s vocabulary, intonation, pronunciation, body movement, and conversational substance signify not only mastery of the Korean language, but a love for its culture and its people.

This is not some utilitarian ChatGPT translator, her voice reminds me of my mother.

It conjures up the earliest memories of my own childhood in South Korea. My mother’s songs, jokes, prayers, and folk tales told to me within the intimate space of home and neighborhood… the particularity of language runs through it all.

The woman in the video even mentions a specific phrase I heard a LOT as a child:

“Ha-Ji-Ma!”
“Don’t do that!”

Pause for a moment with me, and think about your mother’s voice…

Unless you have an awful relationship with your mother. In that case… imagine you are in a foreign country and you hear the sound of your native tongue being spoken.

What do you feel?

The sound of your mother’s voice or even the sound of your native language spoken naturally and fluently on foreign soil, creates an immediate sense of safety, intimacy, and relationship.

Shared language signifies shared stories.

And this is the miracle of Pentecost.

A new story is being written among those who claim to be the followers of Jesus.

It is not a story they asked for.

They were seeking power.

They were asking about when Israel would be restored to power (Acts 1:6).

But in God’s Kingdom power is not about wielding control or building Empire.

It is the supernatural God-shaped God-willed work of hearing and seeing one’s own story in another.

All of the New Testament is the messy joining together of Jews and Gentiles at the body of Jesus. Tax collectors and zealots follow Jesus. Samaritan women follow Jesus. Lepers and the socially outcast follow Jesus. Pharisees and Roman Guards follow Jesus.

By the time Paul and the Apostles are planting churches in and beyond Jerusalem, so much of their work is forming a community of Christ-centered love that transcends tribal lines…

Of course, we still have much work to do.

Today, some Christian circles will emphasize the manifestation of the Holy Spirit. The speaking in heavenly tongues, miraculous healings, signs and wonders, and the ever elusive pursuit of revival. Others will belabor Paul’s explication on the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Patience, kindness, gentleness, self control, etc. Personally, I am a fan of both manifestation and character development with respect to the Spirit.

But may I not dismiss God’s desire as revealed on the miracle of Pentecost — a desire for the followers of Jesus to become the space where others are seen, heard, safe, and perplexed (Acts 2:12).

When you are filled with the Spirit of God, those around you will be amazed and perplexed because by being near to you, they feel the effect of hearing their native tongue.

May you be a manifestation of God’s desire and love.

In this season of Pentecost, may you be a familiar voice for those who feel far off.

Amen

It is a most common prayer request, right up there with Aunt Susie’s knee replacement surgery:

Pray for my job (new job, promotion, relational equity, etc.).

This makes sense. We exist in a world where our survival, comfort, esteem, social well being, and peace of mind are all entangled with the exchange of time, skill, and labor for fiat currency within a particular industry. Thus, seeking the aid and intervention of a Higher Power with regard to work and career matters beyond our control is natural.

And maybe you are in such a moment.

Looking for a job? Negotiating a raise? Discerning a change in career? Dealing with a micromanaging employer? Insufferable colleagues?

Go on. Ask for God’s favor and blessing.

Jabez it all the way up! Lord would you bless me indeed…

May the odds be in your favor… Let the games begin…

But as we pray for things to go well, I wonder…

How might our prayers and participation in the American economy change if spiritual formation was our primary aim?

I offer below three prayerful questions to in consideration of work and its direct corollary to the ultimate vocation of spiritual formation — that lifelong journey of becoming a man or woman of God...

And it begins with the most pragmatic:

God. How Much Money Do I Need?

Sometimes what is most spiritual is what is most practical.

In the same New Testament text that says the love of money is the root of all evil, the Apostle Paul makes this bold claim:

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

I believe in God the Father… and I will go get a job… You never thought keeping a job and apostasy were one and the same did you?

In much simpler terms, I think Paul is drawing from what we see in Genesis 1 and all throughout the Scriptures:

Work is holy responsibility.

There are two extremes I come across in Christian circles in regards to work and money:

1. Spiritual Negligence. God will provide. While this cliche sounds like a word of faith, it can become a word of displacing and neglecting responsibility.

2. Spiritual Detachment. I will give more if I make more. Here, the idea of making money is detached from our life in God. This is the separation (as opposed to integration) of work and faith.

Thus, a worthwhile practical, spiritual, and scriptural question to ask is, “How much money do I need?”

There are of course, levels to such a question. The amount needed to survive against the amount needed to have peace of mind are most likely different dollar amounts, but my point here is to consider taking this practical financial question to the place of prayer.

There are few decisions that a young couple make that are more important than the attitude toward money. One should as early as possible determine the top income one would ever want to strive to have. The question of money and the dangers it poses should be kept under the closest scrutiny. Otherwise the desire ineluctably grows, avarice feeds upon itself, and one ends up as the victim of an appetite that is in fact insatiable and consumes by worry, guilt, and discontent the hours and days that were once consecrated to ministry.

Willimon, William H.. Calling and Character: Virtues of the Ordained Life (p. 103). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition.

God. What Kind of Person Am I Becoming Here?

Does work make you cynical? Angry? Anxious? Ambitious? Self-centered?

Given that the average person spends 40 hours a week in a work environment, your job is the primary arena for spiritual formation.

When pondering the kind of work God is leading us to, we often consider what will be most fulfilling or what will offer the highest compensation.

But for those who take serious the lifelong journey of formation, we must ask the question: what kind of person will I become in light of this work?

I often hear people say to me:

“God really opened this door.”
“It’s all God. I couldn’t have gotten this job otherwise.”

We love talking about how God is present in the act of finding work… but we are much less discerning in the ways God is building the virtues of patience, truth-telling, integrity, and compassion in and through our jobs.

This is not a matter of industry. Many pastors I know would answer in the positive to the questions starting this section.

A good prayer practice at the start of a work day is to ask, LORD how are you inviting me to enter the life of Christ in and through my workplace?

When seeking God around formation (as opposed to compensation and fulfillment) you may discern its time for a change in career or change in attitude, but in either case the true vocation of union with God comes into focus.

God. What Greater Story Are You Writing Here?

Here is a two cent self-help life tip I subscribe to: when work is not at the center of your identity, you become better at your work. You are more than what you do.

Here is the good news:

There is a larger story of redemption unfolding around us.

Whether you are a professional overcompensated clergy person, a software engineer, or a blue collar construction worker… God is inviting you to participate in this story of renewal.

I once had a job I hated.

My daily commute was a daily existential crisis. What am I doing with my life? What is America? What is the meaning of life? Thank goodness for the long-suffering nature of God. Because I must have sounded so annoying.

I was working in three unrelated departments of an organization that I felt was driven by motivations I fundamentally disagreed with. I could talk for days about what was wrong with its culture and leadership. What a typical millennial.

Well, those commutes of barfing up stereotypical millennial complaints became moments of sacred dialogue.

After spewing out all my despondence, I would hear a gentle whisper back from the Spirit…

First a word of affirmation, embrace, and sonship.

Then a word of invitation to lay down (if but for five minutes at a time) my pompous questions and my need to hold this institution in judgment to my standards and expectations (often projection of my own pain).

Then I would hear again another gentle invitation. Mike, I am doing something here. Come and join me.

There is a greater story God is writing in and through your workplace and industry. Listening for this greater story is the work of spiritual formation and Christian discipleship… Learning to surrender our own judgments to listen and joyfully obey the prompting of the Spirit.

Engaging in this spiritual work of attentiveness to God each day builds like compound interest, until one day we find ourselves alive and full of joy. In this state of the soul all matter of work and play is done in communion with God for the glory of God. May you listen and obey.

Grace and Peace

Rev. Mike Whang

20s

• Land a dream job out of college

• Build a large savings account

• Travel the world

• Find a soul mate

30s

• Achieve rapid career advancement

• Picture perfect family and work-life balance

• Financial independence

• Flawless physique

• Amazing marriage

40s

• Attain career pinnacle and high income role

• Flawless professional and personal reputation

• Luxurious lifestyle

• Eternal youth and vitality

• Well balanced children who respect you

50s

• Maintain peak career success and relevance

• Expand personal and professional empire

• Inexplicable fulfillment in work and life

• Life long, natural washboard abs continue to show up in mirror

60s

• Age defying health and appearance

• Extravagant youthful life

• Boundless energy and enthusiasm

• Satisfying relationships

Above is a slightly exaggerated list of a the kind of life most of us consider good or ideal in America.

It’s also the common framework most of have when we think to pray. Prayer often becomes a transcript of ideals we hope to witness and experience throughout our lives. What are your prayer requests?

But life is more like the list below:

20s

• Adjust to the reality of entry level positions

• Stumble through taking on adult life responsibilities

• Recognizing challenges of financial management

• Navigate the challenges of building and maintaining friendships as an adult.

30s

• Deal with mid-career challenges and setbacks

• Learn the hard way, how to balance work and family commitments

• Reevaluate financial and career goals based on changing circumstances

• Grieve the unspoken loss of life before children

40s

• Balance personal goals with needs of aging parents

• Accept changes in physical health and appearance

• Redefine priorities and achievements

• Learn to nurture relationships that matter most amidst life’s complexities

50s

• Adapt to new roles and responsibilities in a changing economy

• Adjust to changing health and energy levels

• Reflect on legacy, embrace greater purpose

• Come to prioritize relationships

60s

• Manage sorrow in unexpected loss of friends and family

• Accept an aging body

• Make up for lost time with children

• Celebrate the things of significance and purpose

Prayer IRL

Life is full of unanticipated turns.

Professionally and personally, life tends to be more mundane and ordinary than we imagined, and occasionally life brings more unexpected tragedy or change than we would like.

Prayer is not a listing out of ideal outcomes.

Prayer is companionship with God through the realities of life.

Prayer is how we arrive at meaning and courage in sorrow and pain.

Prayer is the discovery of greater meaning and purpose beyond culturally imposed imaginations of significance and success.

Below are forms of prayer to help navigate the realities of life...

Non-Dual Contemplation

We live in a dualistic world.

Everything is either good or bad, wrong or right, black or white.

Everything demands judgment.

From Beyonce’s new country album to the barista who served you your flat white with a slightly different milk to espresso ratio than you were accustomed to… we assume that everything needs to be judged.

In non-dual contemplation, we surrender our need to pass judgment and ask with contemplative curiosity: what is God up to here?

I once planned a spiritual formation retreat. I booked a venue. I booked an incredible Spiritual Director. I had 15 people from my church signed up.

Everyone cancelled last minute.

Omg.

I was so embarrassed and disappointed.

I called the spiritual director. I apologized that no one was going to come.

Without skipping a beat, he responded by saying,

Hmm… I wonder what God is up to?

No judgment, no frustration, just immediate intuitive curiosity to the activity of God. It was as if he had spent years building up a contemplative imagination of a God who is present in the unforeseen and unanticipated.

That retreat ended up becoming a much needed personal retreat for me.

Holy Indifference

I once applied for a job.

I was anxious everyday to hear back.

My prayer was basic.

LORD…. um… let your will be done.

But um… LORD… let me get this job.

This is how many of us pray — speculation and anxious desire.

But instead of praying with speculation, can we pray like a mystic?

Instead of seeing prayer as a superstitious act for a desired outcome? What if prayer was slowing down, quieting our fears, and learning to see God in any outcome?

This is Holy Indifference. No matter what happens, God will be good, God will be present, God will be faithful.

No matter what happens, our spiritual journey is not a movement towards ideal outcomes, but a movement towards holiness and unending union with God.

Discernment of Seasons

The best thing I learned during my charismatic days was the liberal use of the word “seasons.” Charismatics will get this:

I’m just in a wilderness seasons right now.
I’m in a season of not dating right now.
I’m in a season of giving up Facebook right now.
I’m in a season of not talking to you right now.

While misusing the word “season” to displace blame, the idea that life is a movement through varying God appointed seasons is a helpful framework for a life that can feel haphazard at times.

The dangerous opposing framework would be that life should a series of successes.

Get married.
Get a job.
Get a promotion.
Gain a great reputation.

But life is not as such.

There are moments of deep sadness, deep disappointment.

Then there are moments of ineffable joy.

There are moments when your paradigms for your career and life demand change.

There are seasons.

God has you, presently, in a particular season of life.

Prayer is discerning… God, what shall I give my focus to in this season of life? In what particular ways are you leading me to become more like Christ? In light of the present changes in my career and family, which fruit of the Spirit are you bringing to the forefront of my soul?

May you come to see every incongruence in life as the arena for fellowship with God. May the changes demanded of you in each passing year and decade lead you to pray - not merely for ideal outcomes, but for the nearness of a God who is always up to something good. May your life of prayer guide you into deep companionship with a Living God, even in (especially in) seasons of sorrow and disorientation. In the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit, Amen

Rev. Mike Whang

Overthinking Praying Out Loud

I still get nervous when people ask me to pray for the meal.

I want to offer a prayer that sounds sincere. You know? Because I’m a sincere guy.

I want to offer a prayer that is concise. You know? Because the food is getting cold.

I want to offer a prayer that is Scripturally sound. You know? Because the Bible.

I want to offer a prayer that is semi-profound. You know? Because that’s cool.

I want to offer a prayer that is not too profound. You know? Because that’d be pretentious.

So a sincere, concise, biblical prayer with a moderate amount of profundity is what I’m aiming for in prayer.

I’ve said some really strange and awkward public prayers because of this kind of overthinking.

The Collect Prayer

Below is a simple formula for offering a sincere and meaningful prayer at any given time.

It’s a form of prayer that dates all the way back to the earliest Christians and is still practiced in Anglican, Catholic, and Methodist traditions called The Collect Prayer.

Here is the basic formulation:

1. God Who… Name a Scriptural action or attribute of God

2. As We… Name the particular moment or occasion of your gathering

3. Help us… Offer one request of God

4. So that… Name the hoped outcome of your prayer

5. In the Name… Close in the name of Christ or the Father Son and Holy Spirit

Examples

God who guides our path with your word… As we gather to study your Scriptures Help us to hunger for your Word like a deer pants for water… So that we might be a people who live not on bread alone but your living Word. In the Name of Christ our LORD, we pray. Amen.

God who calls us to carry one another’s burdens… As we gather in this home to break bread… Help us to be attentive to what you’re doing in one another’s lives… So that we might help one another continue our journey towards you. In the Name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit, we pray. Amen.

God who called Moses to lead your people out of Egypt… As we gather in protest of the injustice in our world… We ask that you would make us as bold and courageous as that stuttering prophet… So that your voice of justice would be heard in our land. In the Name of Christ, we cry out. Amen.

Principles of Prayer

The collect prayer gifts us with a few principles for prayer:

001 Prayer begins with God

Like a bad date, we often speak to God without really taking notice of God. Assuming that what we have is so important, we often don’t take time to remember who God is.

Instead of focusing first on our desires or anxieties, the collect prayer invites us to begin by placing our attention on God….

002 Praying with Scripture Centers Us in the Particular God Revealed in Jesus

It’s ok and beautiful and incarnational to use our own vernacular and language when addressing God in prayer. Please recall my previous post about youth pastors who mention Star Wars in public prayer…

But when we use Scriptural images and phrases, it casts our imagination on the God revealed in Scripture.

As followers of Christ, we do not pray to a generic God, but a particular One revealed most fully in the life death and resurrection of Jesus.

When we say things like, “God who calls us to be makers of peace…” “God revealed in Christ who prayed for his accusers…”

These words center us in God’s presence and character.

003 Prayer is the Intersection of Heaven and Earth

When the phrase God who… interacts with the words As we…

We are engaging our spiritual capacity to name, feel, see, hope, and commune with God in the actual context of our lives.

This is the ultimate aim of spiritual maturity — to live in unending union with God in real time.

I invite you to practice just that… Name an attribute of God and name your present circumstance and surroundings…

As you… go through your day, address the God who… walked with Enoch in the cool of the day…

As you… interact with your children, address the God who… said the Kingdom of God belongs to children…

As you… show up for work, address the God who… invites us to work as if working for the LORD…

As you… wait in line at the grocery store, address the God who… looks upon the rise in consumer price index with — oh wait that wasn’t in the Bible.

But I hope you get the picture.

Next time you are asked to pray in public, try the collect prayer. Name an attribute of God. Name the particular moment. Ask God to move. Close in the Name of Jesus. Your friends will thank you for the concise and scriptural moment of relative profundity.

The Sound of Passionate Korean Immigrant Prayers and the Sound of a Saddleback Youth Pastor

I grew up listening to first generation immigrants weep and wail on maroon-burgundy carpeted sanctuaries constructed through capital campaigns organized by European-American congregations from prior generations.

My developing neuroplasticity naturally deduced that God must surely be moved by decibel levels and the visible passion of said prayers.

I then visited a seeker-sensitive evangelical megachurch in Southern California called Saddleback. There was a Christian Rock Band performing that evening in lieu of their weekly scheduled Sunday night youth program.

My jaw dropped when I heard the youth pastor open the evening in prayer. In the most casual nonchalant manner, he literally prayed…

Um… Hey God… Uh… You’re Rad! Well… Yea… You’re so cool. Thank you for this concert. We hope it rocks our socks off. And… hmm… yeah… thank you for Star Wars! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Literally.

Verbatim.

(A Star Wars film had come out that weekend.)

🤯 My brain exploded.

Is this allowed? Can you be so flippant in speaking to the same God to whom my mother and father address only in tears with the potential of having their blood vessels pop from straining so much of their middle aged energies? Is this ok? How did this inarticulate slightly overweight young man in a plaid shirt with a sick beard gain such inroads with God?

mikewhang

A post shared by @mikewhang

Far Right Charismatic Christianity and Senator Barack Obama

And then, naturally, following a brief rebellious stint (as one does when born into the bicultural realities of Korean-American existence in Southern California in the late 90s and early 2000s)…

I gave my life to the LORD through the charismatic stream of the Christian faith.

For a good five years of my life, I vehemently prayed in tongues, received and offered prophecies, prayed for signs and wonders, and cried out for revival, which was marked primarily by particular United States legislative decisions being overturned by conservative Supreme Court justices.

Eventually, I departed from this movement. When Senator Barack Obama was being called the antichrist from the pulpit, my neuroplasticity, with newfound critical thinking skills, determined that something was amiss.

Pre-Written Prayers by Europeans in the 16th Century for Intellectual Christians

So I turned to books. After years of experiential emotive spirituality, I was hungry for a more intellectually grounded expression of the Christian faith.

In my mid 20s, I found myself reading pre-written prayers from the 1500s with other Masters degree seminary students for early morning chapel.

Quite frankly, you needed a Masters degree to keep up with some of the language in these prayers.

Case in point:

O ALMIGHTY God, who alone canst order the unruly wills and affections of sinful men; Grant unto thy people, that they may love the thing which thou commandest, and desire that which thou dost promise; that so, among the sundry and manifold changes of the world, our hearts may surely there be fixed, where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
— Collect Prayer for the Fourth Sunday of Eastertide, Book of Common Prayer

A bit pretentious, sure.

But it was beautiful. Albeit nerdy. And so, so far removed from the Korean cries for God’s help or from the peculiar vernacular of my charismatic days.

No music. Little emotion. And yet, desire for God.

Contemplative Seat Belts for the Second Half of Life

Over the last 7 years of my life, I have gravitated towards yet another stream of Christian spirituality — the contemplative movement.

I affectionately refer to contemplatives as charismatics with seat belts. They don’t shake and bake or convulse by the power of the Holy Spirit, but their longing and sense of God’s presence is no less tangible.

In this world, prayer is more an act of listening and paying attention rather than a passionate display of affection or desperation.

In addition to the literature of Thomas Merton, Thomas Keating, and Richard Rohr, several local spiritual directors have become my latest guides.

The Best Part…

I still hear the sound of fervent immigrant prayers. I still feel my mother’s tears falling upon my neck as she prayed over me as a child. I recall the fervor of stadiums packed with charismatic “prayer warriors” calling on God to move in power. I hear the echo on the sanctuary walls as faithful scholars of the Christian faith gathered to pray each morning. I have vivid memories of my spiritual directors inviting me into a holy silence to pay attention to how God is at work in the midst of a chaotic life.

I am grateful for my time spent in all of these streams, but here is the best part:

In all of these fun and varied worlds of Christian subculture, I have met people of prayer.

People who know and walk with God.

Those who live from the heart.

While I have learned numerous forms and expressions of prayer, the most impactful part of the journey has been the holy and ordinary gift of befriending people who take prayer as a way of life.

From Cynicism to Integration

For a long while my journey of prayer was a search for “the real thing.”

What is most faithful? Most authentic? Most orthodox? Most effective?

But such is the superlative question of an ego centric, judgment fueled Christian.

I am still learning to move beyond this cynical approach to the Christian faith, and embrace a more curious humble compassionate and integrative Christian spirituality.

Instead of seeing Charismatics as too sensational or emotional, and instead of seeing mainline protestants as too emotionally detached and overly intellectual, I’m learning to see that God invites us to love with all of our faculties — emotion, intellect, and body.

These days, my daily devotional prayer time consists of a contemplative practice of paying attention to God’s activity in my world through the prayer of Examen, but I also love to do an old fashioned evangelical Bible study. And yet, I confess, my primary prayer practice is quietly praying in tongues throughout the day. It postures my heart to tangibly feel the nearness of God wherever I find myself.

Prayer is a journey. The ultimate aim is an unending union with God.

I have met people who live in with this joyous state of being in all streams of the Christian faith.

Wherever you find yourself today in your spiritual journey, may you name that inmost human desire within you — to know and be known by Father Son and Holy Spirit.

In coming weeks, I hope to unpack several prayer practices that help deepen a life of prayer and union with God.

And um… yeah… go Star Wars…

Grace and peace,

Rev. Mike Whang

Praying for a Broken Toe

A friend of mine once broke his toe.

Like, literally, his big toe was pointing in the wrong direction.

This happens when you play basketball in church cafeterias with makeshift rims and tiled floors…

So I take him to Urgent Care.

He can’t afford the treatment.

So he asks me to drop him off at a friend’s place.

This friend happened to be a hyper-charismatic pastor.

When he saw the toe, without hesitation, he says with grave serious tone, “Let’s pray.”

And right then and there…

In the middle of a quasi-luxury Los Angeles Apartment complex, dude screams at the top of his lungs…

In the name of Jesus!
I command this toe to come back into alignment!
Be healed in the mighty name of Jesus!

I was so embarrassed.

Like. Bro. There are other residents here. And we may as well offer a prayer for the health care system if we are going to speak with such unabashed assurance! Also. This is a pretty nice apartment! Can’t you drop a friendly hundo to help my buddy go see a doc???

You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that my buddy’s toe is back in place now… so I won’t go there. But it is.

I know.

What? 🤷

Your Imagination of Prayer

We all have a certain imagination of what prayer looks like.

Maybe for you it isn’t screaming for supernatural disruption of phalangeal dislocation.

But for many of us we grew up with the image of prayer as a specific moment when words are offered to God.

More often than not, it’s some sort of request beyond our control with a hoped for outcome.

As a child, my constant image of prayer was the sound of my mother and father crying out for God’s help and guidance at the altar of small immigrant church sanctuaries.

While beautiful and legitimate (and in the case of my friend’s toe — hilarious), the ultimate end of prayer is not to get something from God, but to live in union with God.

One pastor puts it like this:

Do you have a prayer life or are you living a life or prayer?

To this end, I have come to find praying without words as a penultimate practice of living in union with God.

Below are three ways to deepen a life of prayer without words.

01 Prayer as Scanning the Room

Have you ever been in a room (whether crowded or alone), when to your surprise, someone you know and love walks into the room?

You make eye contact.

You smile.

You are so glad to see them.

All at once, your mood, your thoughts, and your expectations of how the day will go begin to shift.

This is praying without words —

Taking notice of a loving God walking into the space you are located in.

Brother Lawrence calls this practicing the presence of God.

Whether washing the dishes of his monastery or quietly making sandals for the poor as his simple labor, Brother Lawrence lived in constant awareness of God. He speaks of having so much joy and affection in his heart from “an habitual silent secret conversation of the soul with God” that he had to moderate his outward joy when it would be socially inappropriate.1 Yes. A little weird to have to restrain your natural state of joy. But amazing.

In praying without words, we shift from living on autopilot to being aware of God’s Presence in the room.

Take a moment to consider, right where you are, God is present. A loving Heavenly Father who is for you and working redemption within and all around you is near.

02 Prayer as Reading Scripts

Prayer without words creates space for reflection.

Reflective prayer can be the difference between living reactively and living with intention.

The Old Testament calls this inquiring or waiting upon the LORD.

In prayer, we take pause to think deeply about what narratives are playing out in our minds.

How are you making sense of your life and the world around you?

What self-sabotaging or God-forsaken narratives have you unknowingly subscribed to? I will never be enough. I will always struggle for belonging. I am worthless without this person or institution’s favor. Etc.

My previous bishop used to speak a great deal about how pastors can operate with a practical atheism. Meaning, we believe in God, but act as if there is none.

When we approach God in prayerful reflection, we pay attention to these “scripts” and replace them with the story of a living God who is up to something good!

Take a moment to prayerfully reflect on the narratives that are driving your life today. Quietly name and surrender them.

Or if that’s too abstract, consider this three part prayer prompt: What do I feel? What do I value? How is God inviting me to show up?

03 Prayer as Action

I can tell my wife and children that I love them. And I should.

But I convey my love moreso through the folding of clothes, preparation of food, helping with their homework… every action and inaction is a form of communication.

So too is our life of prayer.

Everything we do is an act of prayer.

When we practice kindness instead of gossip, we offer the prayer, “God I wish to be made into the image of your Son.”

Every time we refuse to participate in a system of injustice, we offer a declaratory prophetic prayer, “God let justice roll live a mighty river.”

When we think of our entire lives as an act of prayer, we finally arrive at spiritual formation — an integration of faith and life, so that everything we do becomes one congruent offering of worship unto God.

Consider what is on your calendar for the next two hours. How might you see your upcoming appointment, commute, leisure, etc. as an act of prayer?

Thus begins a series of teachings on prayer — a vast world of which I am still yet a recent migrant. I pray these words are of help in your journey towards a life of unending union with God.

I invite you to comment below or message me your experience and reflections on praying without words.

Grace and Peace,
Rev. Mike Whang

Our lives are lived within the themes of Holy Saturday…

Uncertainty, hope deferred, reconciling reality with unmet expectations…

What does it look like for us to tend to Jesus in the moments where following him results in disappointment?

Merton Prayer

The fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.

Blessing

May you live with holy intention even in the presence of hope deferred as you wait for resurrection.

As I’ve been teaching my daughters to pray, I’ve been relearning what prayer is…

Prayer is the work of learning to name the Goodness and Nearness of God in the context of actual life.

Enoch walked with God.
Jesus did only what he saw the Father doing.
David was a man after God’s own heart.

Prayer is not a compartmentalized religious moment in the day. Although we may have moments of engaging in specific prayer practices, the aim of Christian Spirituality and Discipleship is integration — living a life of prayer, as opposed to having a “prayer life.”

The video above is ho I attempt to teach this kind of integrative life of prayer to my girls who are 3 and 6 years old.

This week, we are exploring 8 ways to process grief in prayer.

Key Takeaways

• The experience of grief is normal. The Scriptures tell us there is a time to grieve.

• The work of Spiritual Formation is learning to hold in tension the blessings and disappointments of life, finding both as spaces of God’s loving and transformative presence.

• Underneath prolonged grief, there typically is an internal script operating in our lives. Prayerfully uncovering this story and centering ourselves instead in the story of God is the spiritual work of renewal.

• Religious platitudes are a form of grief denial and repression. Don’t do that.

• The practice of gratitude replaces victim mindsets.

• Healing is in living a life worth living, creating a world we desire to see.

• 90s R&B songs taught us all the cathartic practice of giving full bodily and vocal expression to our grief.

• Asian American men who were given images of stoic masculinity are really really bad at processing grief prayerfully.

I remember getting off the phone after receiving news of my father’s cancer diagnosis. I involuntarily fell to my knees and began to weep.

Instantly, the ordering of what mattered most shifted.

The value of each moment increases a hundredfold, when we come to see they are in short supply.

In the oldest of Christian traditions, the season of Lent begins with such awareness.

Today, we are told, “You are dust, and to dust you will return.”

What a humbling reminder.
What an invitation to practice gratitude for every breath.
What a summons to hug tightly those we love the most.

Prayer. Fasting. Repentance. Turning our hearts back to God. Walking in the way of Jesus… We often see these as moral obligations (an aspiration to behave a certain way). They conjure up angst and motivation and determination…

What if instead we saw repentance as a gentle awareness of God’s nearness in every finite moment of the day? Isn’t this how Jesus lived?

Once upon a time Conan O’Brien lost his dream job of hosting the Tonight Show on NBC. This was one of the most significant moments in my journey of spiritual formation…

Thank you new subscribers! You are discovering Oikon and Wesley at a time of early experimentation. We are testing out various formats for cultivating spiritual formation. Your feedback on any and all of this is welcome! Thank you! -Pastor Mike