Frameworks for Disorientation
Prayer Series 004: Prayer through the Inconsistencies of Life
20s
Land a dream job out of college
Build a large savings account
Travel the world
Find a soul mate
30s
Achieve rapid career advancement
Picture perfect family and work-life balance
Financial independence
Flawless physique
Amazing marriage
40s
Attain career pinnacle and high income role
Flawless professional and personal reputation
Luxurious lifestyle
Eternal youth and vitality
Well balanced children who respect you
50s
Maintain peak career success and relevance
Expand personal and professional empire
Inexplicable fulfillment in work and life
Life long, natural washboard abs continue to show up in mirror
60s
Age defying health and appearance
Extravagant youthful life
Boundless energy and enthusiasm
Satisfying relationships
Above is a slightly exaggerated list of a the kind of life most of us consider good or ideal in America.
It’s also the common framework most of have when we think to pray. Prayer often becomes a transcript of ideals we hope to witness and experience throughout our lives. What are your prayer requests?
But life is more like the list below:
20s
Adjust to the reality of entry level positions
Stumble through taking on adult life responsibilities
Recognizing challenges of financial management
Navigate the challenges of building and maintaining friendships as an adult.
30s
Deal with mid-career challenges and setbacks
Learn the hard way, how to balance work and family commitments
Reevaluate financial and career goals based on changing circumstances
Grieve the unspoken loss of life before children
40s
Balance personal goals with needs of aging parents
Accept changes in physical health and appearance
Redefine priorities and achievements
Learn to nurture relationships that matter most amidst life’s complexities
50s
Adapt to new roles and responsibilities in a changing economy
Adjust to changing health and energy levels
Reflect on legacy, embrace greater purpose
Come to prioritize relationships
60s
Manage sorrow in unexpected loss of friends and family
Accept an aging body
Make up for lost time with children
Celebrate the things of significance and purpose
Prayer IRL
Life is full of unanticipated turns.
Professionally and personally, life tends to be more mundane and ordinary than we imagined, and occasionally life brings more unexpected tragedy or change than we would like.
Prayer is not a listing out of ideal outcomes.
Prayer is companionship with God through the realities of life.
Prayer is how we arrive at meaning and courage in sorrow and pain.
Prayer is the discovery of greater meaning and purpose beyond culturally imposed imaginations of significance and success.
Below are forms of prayer to help navigate the realities of life...
Non-Dual Contemplation
We live in a dualistic world.
Everything is either good or bad, wrong or right, black or white.
Everything demands judgment.
From Beyonce’s new country album to the barista who served you your flat white with a slightly different milk to espresso ratio than you were accustomed to… we assume that everything needs to be judged.
In non-dual contemplation, we surrender our need to pass judgment and ask with contemplative curiosity: what is God up to here?
I once planned a spiritual formation retreat. I booked a venue. I booked an incredible Spiritual Director. I had 15 people from my church signed up.
Everyone cancelled last minute.
Omg.
I was so embarrassed and disappointed.
I called the spiritual director. I apologized that no one was going to come.
Without skipping a beat, he responded by saying,
Hmm… I wonder what God is up to?
No judgment, no frustration, just immediate intuitive curiosity to the activity of God. It was as if he had spent years building up a contemplative imagination of a God who is present in the unforeseen and unanticipated.
That retreat ended up becoming a much needed personal retreat for me.
Holy Indifference
I once applied for a job.
I was anxious everyday to hear back.
My prayer was basic.
LORD…. um… let your will be done.
But um… LORD… let me get this job.
This is how many of us pray — speculation and anxious desire.
But instead of praying with speculation, can we pray like a mystic?
Instead of seeing prayer as a superstitious act for a desired outcome? What if prayer was slowing down, quieting our fears, and learning to see God in any outcome?
This is Holy Indifference. No matter what happens, God will be good, God will be present, God will be faithful.
No matter what happens, our spiritual journey is not a movement towards ideal outcomes, but a movement towards holiness and unending union with God.
Discernment of Seasons
The best thing I learned during my charismatic days was the liberal use of the word “seasons.” Charismatics will get this:
I’m just in a wilderness seasons right now.
I’m in a season of not dating right now.
I’m in a season of giving up Facebook right now.
I’m in a season of not talking to you right now.
While misusing the word “season” to displace blame, the idea that life is a movement through varying God appointed seasons is a helpful framework for a life that can feel haphazard at times.
The dangerous opposing framework would be that life should a series of successes.
Get married.
Get a job.
Get a promotion.
Gain a great reputation.
But life is not as such.
There are moments of deep sadness, deep disappointment.
Then there are moments of ineffable joy.
There are moments when your paradigms for your career and life demand change.
There are seasons.
God has you, presently, in a particular season of life.
Prayer is discerning… God, what shall I give my focus to in this season of life? In what particular ways are you leading me to become more like Christ? In light of the present changes in my career and family, which fruit of the Spirit are you bringing to the forefront of my soul?
May you come to see every incongruence in life as the arena for fellowship with God. May the changes demanded of you in each passing year and decade lead you to pray - not merely for ideal outcomes, but for the nearness of a God who is always up to something good. May your life of prayer guide you into deep companionship with a Living God, even in (especially in) seasons of sorrow and disorientation. In the name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit, Amen
Rev. Mike Whang